oh- him?
There’s him- he’s becoming my best friend
There’s him- he’s proving himself friend-worthy
..and him- he’s screwing with my mind, and he doesn’t even realize it.
..and-sort of- him, not even really worth mentioning… yet
oh, and I screwed everything up with him- the one who thought he loved me four months ago… exactly four months ago- almost to the minute.
oh, and I was a complete bitch to him- he doesn’t talk to me anymore- won’t even look at me, actually.- good decisions, drunken me, really.
texts from last night (intended for post in August ‘11)
*August*
Have you ever gone through your phone and reread the heart to hearts you had last night?
yeah, I do that alot.
Only this heart to heart? it was my best guy friend pouring his heart out to me. He and I have been close friends since the third grade- we text a lot. This one was different- this one he confessed that he loved me.
Yeah- I know, in story books this is our happily ever after… I don’t go to college, we get married young- and fight against all odds. This ain’t no fairy tale. I had to tell him I didn’t feel the same way. It was harsh- but whatever, he needed to get over it. I don’t love him- I’m not as serious about him as he is about me, I didn’t want to lead him on
*December*
I told him that night I didn’t feel the same way.
I moved into college the next morning.
I’ve seen him twice since.
We’re barely on talking terms anymore.
He has a girlfriend now.
i’m afraid he doesn’t love me anymore
